Heroes. It’s a bit like Five’s Extraordinary People, only less imaginative. In Five-speak, there’s ‘The Chubby Policeman Who Reads Minds’, ‘The Mexican Woman with Black Stuff Coming Out of Her Eyes’ and, spotted on BBC Three’s sneak peek edition last night, ‘The Girl Who’s Quite Good at Skipping and That’.

Yup, they’re a talented bunch and no mistaking. But is it just me, or has Season 2 of the Beeb’s big-budget import never really – erm – taken flight? None of them ever seem to actually do anything. Take retired cheerleader Claire (Hayden Panettiere) as a case in point. These days she’s less like Supergirl and more like some sort of lapsed Dawson’s Creek character, all whiney teen angst and no trousers.

Hopefully something – and by something, I mean anything – will happen soon to perk things up a bit. Until then though, it seems Superman, Batman and ‘The Boys Joined at the Head’ have got little to worry about.

Following on from my recent(ish) bout of poetry dedicated to the Half Man Half Tree episode of Five’s Extraordinary People, here’s a little game you can all play at home with granny and the kids. Below are some genuine episode titles from the show, along with some that I’ve made up – but which is which? Answers on the back of one of Russell Grant’s Postcards, please…

There’s a man on Five who’s made from trees,

Tune in quick, before he leaves.