Following on from the Big Brother drinking game, here’s an Alex-specific version that you can all play along with at home. All you need to do is take a swig of your chosen tipple every time this year’s favourite anger management candidate utters any of the following phrases:

• “I’m not trying to be funny, but…”
• “Do you know what I mean?”
• “Remember I told you.”
• “My fings.”
• “Deal with it.”

Alternatively, if you’re more likely to be spending your evenings watching the far more civilised Euro 2008, you can still play along. All you need to do is take a sizable gulp every time any of the commentators or pundits mention any of the following:

• The home nations’ failure to qualify.
• Ronaldo.
• The Alps.
• The Premier League.
• Dutch “total football”.
• Scolari’s going to Chelsea, don’tcha know.

By the way, what is the point of the current trend of cutting from the presenter and pundits in the studio, to a different presenter standing on the touchline with a different pundit? Does the touchline pundit know something that the others don’t? And, if so, why can’t they just let him sit in the studio with the rest of them? Of course, it’s understandable in situations where the touchline pundit is Gordon Strachan, because clearly nobody can bear to be in a room with him for any significant period of time. But what of the others? Answers, as usual please, on the back of one of Russell Grant’s Postcards.

…both BBC and ITV to fail miserably in any attempt to get through today’s opening couple of Euro 2008 matches without repeatedly mentioning England. And holy potatoes, did they both live up to those expectations. Of course, none of the other home nations have qualified for the tourney either, but sometimes it feels almost as if, even after all these years, Motty and co remain blissfuly unaware that their broadcasts reach as far as Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland.

Still, that aside, you’ve got to take your hat off to the standard of coverage both channels have kicked off with. Even allowing for the fact that ITV’s Andy Townsend could very easily be replaced with Brandon Block and nobody would notice, it’s an impressive line-up of live action, highlights, previews and talky bits that the football-loving population of England have got to look forward to. And hey – the rest of the UK can join in too, if they like.